Question by Jill S: I want others' opinions about personality clash/opposing values with my husband?
My husband and I grew up in extremely distinct households. He was really poor and in the projects. His mom was the main caretaker and produced all of the cash and decisions. She purchased numerous items for him and his sibling from yard sales, second-hand, or just the least expensive thing in the retailer. Their attitude was use the item and show it zero care whatever happens to it, just purchase one more cheap a single.
I grew up in a middle class property. My dad worked and mom stayed home. We were not spoiled, but my parents could afford to purchase factors that were of a decent quality for me and my sibling. We researched our purchases and purchased the finest good quality we could for the very best value. We had been taught to take care of our property if one thing broke, was lost or ruined out of neglect, we had to go without it.
I guess any person can see where this is going. Flash forward to our marriage. We each went to school and make okay income. Now we own a home and are purchasing factors to fix and fill it. My husband desires to acquire low-cost things, and later replace them with far better. I want to save up, wait till we can acquire decent high quality and then acquire. Why waste $ 250 on a cheapo sofa, that we will replace in a year or two? I would rather go with no or get utilized items and save to replace them as soon as. Because of this, I have bought several of the items in our home, including our furniture and his clothing. (He REFUSES to spend income on clothes. He ripped the butt out on his dress pants and safety pinned them to go to a funeral and couldn't see why he required to get new pants. They were fine with the pins in them.)
Then, when we do acquire top quality items, my husband treats them with no respect. He by no means takes care of something. He is rough and careless with items, often losing, damaging or breaking them he then just says , "We can buy another" or "Don't be concerned about it. It is no large deal."
This is driving me crazy. He wore brand new tennis shoes to paint and caulk around the residence. (He wears a size 15-these are expensive and difficult to discover.) He wrecked our brand new car into a fire-hydrant, since he "forgot" to pull the emergency break and left the car running, on a hill, IN GEAR, to run into the property for a thing he forgot.
We Cannot buy another $ 1,000 sofa on a whim, simply because he jumps onto it (He is 6'5 and more than 300lbs), or sits in it with his keys in his pocket and scratches or rips the leather. We Can't buy an additional $ 700 dollar house workplace desk on a whim, due to the fact he puts glasses directly on the wood. The worst part, is that some of the items I am still paying on when he misuses them. And he has absolutely no remorse, nor does he alter his techniques at all.
I am beside myself with this. I operate difficult to get decent issues. I do not waste funds or invest frivolously. Why can't he respect what we have? Why does not he want our home to look nice or be comfy. Why can't he comprehend that we could have a extremely nice life if he would just put factors back where they belong, think a minute about the finest way to do one thing or use care when he does do some thing. We could save so much money and make our lives less difficult.
He is a challenging-operating, decent guy who would never ever cheat on me. He is type and loving. He compliments me each and every day-sincerely. I know I should be really grateful for this fantastic guy in my life, but his carelessness and disrespect is truly causing problems.
Does anyone have any advice or an opinion of how I could make him understand what our difficulty is? Or maybe a thing sage that would assist me to comprehend why he refuses to take care of factors? I know how he was brought up, and his parents are Still the very same way. His mom is a hot mess and they "yard sale" ever weekend, purchasing LOADS of junk that they horde. (They even have their two story-double stall GARAGE "decorated" and have 9 full size curio cabinets in the 1st floor of their property CRAMMED with stuff. Please do not believe I am a judgemental witch I when had to use their $ 1.50 ironing board that was as high as my thighs, while ironing with a 50 cent iron that had in no way been cleaned and had deposits all over the surface. It took me 45 minutes to iron a shirt.)
Support, please.
Best answer:
Answer by Premaholic
It is not the possessions but the "attachment" to the possessions, that is unsafe....
Add your personal answer in the comments!
Technorati Tags: about, clash/opposing, husband, need, opinions, others', personality, values